I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
