i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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