used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
