In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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