she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
