i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
