Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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