Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
