Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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