Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
