WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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