It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
