I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
