i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
