Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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