"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize