LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
