You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He called his prostate his "boner button".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
