Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
