i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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