I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
COCAINE IS GR8
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize