She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
