they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
