This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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