Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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