I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
