so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
