I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
