i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
