Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
