You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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