Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
