She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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