I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
