i think my mom watched the whole time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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