Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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