in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
