We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
