Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
