just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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