He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
