So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
