that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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