its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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