As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
