When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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