so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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