I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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