I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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