she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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