I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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