i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
