arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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