he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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