it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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