SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
