just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize