he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
