when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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