I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
