Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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