Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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