So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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