Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
